NFL Football, Brought to You By Other People

By Jordan Burchette


Since the average fan won't get within a Nokia executive's caviar fart of the actual Super Bowl, the NFL offers the masses a glimpse into the bold corporate branding of such valued sponsors as The Home Depot, Samsung, and Chevy called The NFL Experience. There are cool football toss games, trading card shows, and a ferris wheel (from the top, you can see a hundred miles of Arizona in any direction—that's five miles more than you can see from ground level!), but the real draw is in glimpsing the marketing plans of these Dow Jones bellwethers. Oh, and flowery crap. Football fans love that.


This was an actual exhibit. For canned wine. At an NFL event. We are being systematically prepped as Matrix-like sperm farms for a future, women-only civilization.


We practiced picking out paint colors for our office!


B of A's exhibit challenged fans to try their hand at money withdrawal. Most of them didn't do too well.


This guy made it here just in time for Super Bowl 24.


Ladies and gentlemen: the State Farm Experience!!!


Eight dollars for a beer? What is this, the MLB Experience?


This was a post-modern exhibit on batin' commissioned by the NFL.