PMI Piranha STS

Armed with the finest splat cannons money can buy, we went Jackson Pollock on a Long Island paintball course.


By Jordan Burchette
Maxim.com

Lowdown: Much like a second-string football player, PMI’s Piranha is a real workhorse. In other words, it’s cheap, but gets the job done. This is the kind of gun you’d likely rent at many paintball courses.

Goods: How ’bout that price tag! Further, unlike most of the girls we met while on Long Island, this gun is very easy to maintain. Said one of our experts, “If it were a fish, it’d gut itself,” meaning that, also unlike Long Island women, it’s easy to strip and clean.

Knocks: More Tonka than Hummer, your friend’s groin isn’t even scared of this jammy. The Piranha runs on CO2, rather than the fluid airflow of a compressed air supply (as with the Angel, E-Mag, SFL, and STO), promising poorer shot consistency and drop off, and general gun-heaving aggravation.

Geek Factor: Plan on administering a lot of swirlies when the course-cluckers chuckle at your shaft. Hey, they’re still better than golf dorks.

Overall: If you’re only mildly serious about the sport, you might be better served renting this gun, rather than buying it. Still, it’s worth the money, and will show a lot of love to the right owner.